March 2012
133 posts
Sum Dum Cunt
You try to tell me Chris Brown is okay and “we don’t know his side of the story” because you don’t know me very well and assume at some point in my life I will give up an argument or agree to disagree? Nope. You can be either dumb, or opinionated. But you don’t get to be dumb AND opinionated. Not on my turf.
“She is a regular height person but she walks like a midget!”
– Alex Jan. He is my sole mate. My only mate.
“Well I cant say I had any self control when I came out of the womb. So I cried...”
– Alex Jan
“But its like… nowadays if you walk into the ocean with goggles on… the earth...”
– Alex Jan
“No, no! Your breath is so well used!”
– Alex Jan
Get ready to be bombarded with Alex's best lines...
Me: Did you really have a dream I had an abortion?
Alex: Yeah, so we were in my kitchen and I punched you in the stomach, and you went over to the trash can and had pooped out this dead fetus covered in fluid and tubes and stuff and then everyone was laughing.
Me: Wait so… I didn’t “have an abortion.” You aborted my baby against my will. That is so different!...
“Love is a temporary madness, it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And...”
– Captain Corelli’s Mandolin, Louis de Bernières (via lifeinpoetry)
My mom: ”Oh! Have you seen the video of the cat that taps the girls arm?”
Me: ”No…”
My mom: ”Well, I’ve been taking a lot of NyQuil.”
February 2012
168 posts
typennington:
shout out to grilled cheese sandwiches
My right eyelid has been twitching for two days...
ohblahdeeohblahda:
After overhearing a heartbreaking conversation between Maggie and Christen in which Maggie stated that she could never be attracted to Joseph Gordon Levitt because he reminds her of Zooey Dechanel I have since then only been able to associate him with her and am now finding myself unable to be attracted to him too.He used to be my number one lover and now you sir have been...
“She said she meant
that friends are like magic tricks
but love is genuinely...”
– Catie Rosemurgy, excerpt from “Doctor: Miss Peach Is a Doll inside a Doll inside a Doll” (via earlyfrost)
“One of the gifts of the evening hours
is darkness, a velt screen between your...”
– Moira Egan, Vespers (via grammatolatry)
1 tag
“I may be an unbeliever, but I am an unbeliever who has a nostalgia for a belief.”
– Pier Paolo Pasolini (via earlyfrost)
Remember that time when
you were walking towards a boy with a purposeful gait and what must have been a determined look in your eyes —because your purse was under the chair he was sitting on and you were ready to get the fuck out of that party— and the girl he was with instinctively put her arm on the back of his neck and braced herself with a death-ray bitch gaze to rival even yours? And you said...
The Biggest Photo of Space ever taken →
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D :D :D !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
“Once, I had an ear infection and I was in the bath tub and I was saying “they...”
– My 4-year-old sister to our family doctor (via wereallsideeffects)
1 tag
All my life
I’ve wanted to be a poet, because poetry is just the best thing ever. But tonight I wish I could write poetry because Tom Hardy’s lips deserve a sonnet. Or maybe a whole book of sonnets all to themselves. But Shakespeare has “better things to do” and I lack the talent.
“It’s dark.
You exhale a fist of memory.
I love you like weathering wood
in a...”
– James L. White, from “Lying in Sadness” in The Salt Ecstasies (via proustitute)
“the history of melancholia
includes all of us.
me, I writhe in dirty sheets...”
– Melancholia, Charles Bukowski (via lifeinpoetry)
"Is rabbits eatable? Or you just s'posed to cuddle...
“No.”
– Actress Julianne Moore, when asked if she gained a newfound respect for Sarah Palin after delving deeper into Palin’s life to portray her in the upcoming film “Game Change.” (via mamaatheist)