Bugs

"Aren't you scared to eat here?"
"When I eat, it is the food that is scared."

A conundrum of gigantic proportions

I have to pee (most likely from the 4 giant glasses of wine I drank at champion speeds) but I just painted my nails really superbly and the risk of wiping is more threatening than the risk of peeing on my couch.

Oh my god I don’t want to read this tomorrow and beĀ embarrassed.